Posted in blogging, life, spiritual

Quo vadis ??

I hate being on the crossroads…..

I hate having too many options open to me……

 I hate when the ball is in my court….

I hate to choose……

Right now I am in a dilemma over my next job. One place seemed appeasing but is way too far, while the next place is not so appeasing but much closer. What’s my priority?? Where would I want to go???? ………..I don’t know.

I kept praying all these days asking God to give me the grace to accept whatever he chose for me. Finally today the faraway job calls up…… Would you like to join?? ……I am in dilemma. I am having my reservations. In a way I am trying to back out I know…..I am searching for all reasons to support my stand too.

A friend finally mentions a saying with regards to St. Peter……Quo vadis??? The  friend presumed I knew about it. Well I didn’t.

In a state of dilemma, I am always in search of reasons to distract myself……so I immediately googled for Quo vadis?. And this is what I found.

Quo vadis?? In classical Latin means “Where are you going??”. Well According to the apocryphal Acts of Peter, Peter was fleeing away from Rome because he was likely to be crucified in Rome at the hands of the government. As he was fleeing, along the road outside the city he met Jesus. Peter surprised to see Jesus asks “quo vadis domine??” ( Where are you going Lord??). To which Jesus replies “Romam eo iterum crucified” ( I am going to Rome to be crucified again).

Peter is transformed on hearing the response and he thereby gained the courage to continue his ministry by returning back to the city. He eventually was martyred by being crucified upside-down.

So what’s here for me????

Am I like Peter running away from my cross??

Have I allowed my faith to dwindle so much??

In today’s morning homily the priest quoted “where faith ends… Anxiety begins, and where anxiety ends faith begins“.

Faith is not …’Seeing is believing’…..Rather faith is ‘Believing is seeing

I am still in a state of dilemma, the mind and heart against each other. The next 24hrs are gonna be critical 😁. All you regular readers of my blog, might have to keep your fingers crossed and watch out for the heart trace monitor.

I hope to survive, I hope to fall the path meant for me with faith and spirit. 

If I meet God I would want to say “domine: ego venio” ( Lord, I am coming).🙏🙏😇😇

Posted in blogging, leisure

Tum Bardez, Hanv Xaxtti

Amchi xaxtti, Tumcho Bardez,

Amchem ‘good morning’ , tumchem ‘dev boro dis dium’.

Amchem ‘kexx ahham?’ ,Tumchem ‘kohhem asa?’

Amchem ‘kazarchem doxx’, tumcho ‘kazaracho bholl’

Amcho ‘modgonvcho market’ , tumcho ‘mapxeancho bazar’

Amchem Colva , Tumchem Calangute

Amcho ‘Bannalecho naal’ famad, Tumchem ‘Moiddechim kenni’

Dhogg bhavnna ami , punn mai ekuch amchi,

Goichem daiz rakhun urrun, hench maggnem amchi,

Itllem mhonnun sompoita

Tum Bardez ……….Hanv Xaxxti.
Epilogue. 😎
Well this is a short poem typed in Konkani, trying to compare on a lighter note the diversity between 2 regions or 2 talukas in the small state of Goa. One being Salcette (Xaxxti ) and the other Bardez . Altough these 2 regions are separated by a mere distance of 40 km , they show a vast diversity in culture, food and even in the way the mother tongue is spoken. Blame it on the invasions of the Portuguese or the 2 rivers of Mandovi and Zuari that separate the 2 regions…….Whatever may be the cause of the differences, it is this very diversity that enriches the culture of my small state of Goa.

Posted in blogging

A century and double….

2 months earlier on 1st April I reached a milestone of…… 50 posts and 100 likes.

Today on 1st June, I have surprisingly doubled the score……..100 posts and 200 likes.

I am not a writer and surely my posts are nowhere close to be called ‘great’. I must have even bored many of the readers with my lengthy posts for which I am infamous 😁.

I really don’t know how I got so far, but I am humbled by a few readers and friends who make time and take trouble to read my posts.    Thanks everybody. ……It means a lot.

I am trying to improve my writing skills, but it’s gonna take time. But I hope I don’t lose interest, for which I’ll need the support of my readers.

My posts are an attempt to express my perspective and experiences of each day. 

I sent my link to many but not all bothered to check them. No offense here, everybody is entitled to their opinion afterall. 

For the brave readers who survived reading by posts……. You’ll are great readers and writers.

Thank you once again.

Jolta

Posted in blogging, life, Random thoughts

Stalking the teacher 😎

Being a teacher has its own set of advantages and disadvantages. 

One of the biggest disadvantage of being a teacher that I have experienced is the loss of privacy. Let’s say a teacher teaches 3 classes of around 40 students each and the teacher has been teaching for about 5 years. Then a simple math would mean the teacher has taught about 600 students. Add another 400 students to this list, who might not have been taught by the teacher but have studied in the same institute. That makes it almost a 1000 students who know the teacher.

Now in a small state like ours , whose entire length can be traversed in a mere 4 hrs drive, the probability of bumping into 1 of the 1000 students you’ve taught is very very high.

I go to the market ………..I bump into at least one of my student in the crowd.

I go to the beach ………I see a few of them from far and I end up changing my walking route 😭.

I go for a drive to a far of remote place, stop on a bridge happily clicking my selfie……….suddenly a voice comes from behind ” Hi miss!” 😵

I go for mass and I am fully concentrating on my prayer…………The next day at college “miss I saw you for mass yesterday” 😇.

I go for a movie and in the dark I’m hoping I don’t see any of them……..But during the intermission when the lights come on, my hopes are shattered. There they are 😀

I go to buy fish ………..”Hi miss”

I’m at the pharmacy………” Hello miss”

I rarely attend social gatherings, but if I do ………… There’ll still be that one student I bump into.

It’s like you’re literally being stalked .

Over the years the number of students in my village have increased. Now even my neighbor happens to be my student 😕.

The moment I see a student I get conscious and I am forced to switch personalities from an immatured carefree girl to a matured serious female.
The funniest part of this stalking drama is the different reactions I notice of the students.

There are some that get so excited to see me………They would literally make you feel like a celebrity.

Some students will just show you an attitude…….” To hell with that teacher”.

Then there are those who feel that I am stalking them. 😂😂. They’d be like “why is she here? ” 😤

I don’t know how long i would be in the teaching profession. But if I carry on further , my stalkers would only increase. 

A day might come where every 2nd person I meet would be my student and I’ll have to forever but on my serious charecter look.

Anyways until then….. this “hide n seek” between student and teacher is going to continue 😂😂.

Posted in blogging, leisure, life

What’s in a name?

Name: Joalita Marcia Savina Rebello

Origin : experimental outcome of fusing parents names

Name officially used: Joalita

Correct pronunciation : Jo-wa-lee-ta

Common pronunciation : jolta, Joh-li-ta

Worst pronunciation: Jo el-li-ta, joy-li-ta

Modified version of the name : Julieta, julita, joanita, jovita

Pet name : joli

Given a chance would you change the name : ……..A thousand times over 😁

In short that’s how I sum up the story of my name. Parents at times can be over enthusiastic about parenting. They would want their child to stand out of the crowd ….. Easiest way……Give a name that stands out…….. Completely out 😂. 

Mine is an outstanding name, which at times perfectly describes me ……… Weird and complicated. 

I hate introducing myself because the intro has to start with respects paid to the outstanding name. 

Me: “I am Joalita Rebello ” 

They : “what did you say Jo______ ?”

It’s atleast 3 repeated attempts before the name is understood.

They: “Oh…… Joalita. Nice name . But what does it mean?”

Me to myself ….Is that a complement or an insult? 😵. it means I have over enthusiastic experimentative parents 😁😁

Me : “I don’t know what it means. ”

A name ……a word or set of words by which a person or thing is known, addressed or referred to. 

A name was meant to be something simple …..but unfortunately for some it ended up getting complicated. Anyways we learn to live with it……..there are more worse disasters that can take place in life 😭.

What’s in a name ??????

I agree Mr. Shakespeare. But I guess it would boost the morale of a tiny insignificant flower if she was named Rose.

Anyways I don’t want to be a rose……I am getting used to being Joalita…….And Joalita it will be.

But for those who know me……Jolta sounds better 😎

Posted in blogging, leisure, life, Random thoughts

Fit un Fit

I hate shopping for clothes. Hate , hate from the bottom of my heart. Why???…….. Because I never get what I want, I never get something I would be comfortable in.

Take for example a kurta.

If I like the color …..the size doesn’t fit.

If I get a proper size…..the material is not nice

If I like the  sleeves ……the neck is deep

If everything is fine……the rate is too high

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I have lost track of the number of times me and my mother have locked horns over petty issues like selecting a kurta.

So much so that my mother finally stopped taking me along for shopping. She picked up whatever she liked……If I liked it well and good, if not she would just pass it on.

But there are times when I  feel blessed to get that perfect piece …….which just satisfies all the conditions set by me. It’s as tough they were stitched keeping me in mind. I am not talking about tailored clothes here. Tailors are another pain I would avoid as long as I can.

These perfect clothes are then used used and overused by me ……almost like a uniform. And if it’s a good quality clothing then the uniform won’t change for years 😁.

Of late I almost found a solution to my problem…… Online shopping. 

When I started off, I seemed to love online shopping……Simply because it saved my time, it saved my money at times(end of season sales) and more importantly it saved my patience (something I lack). I used to some how get stuff upto my satisfaction.

But my happiness was short lived. Off late most of the things I order aren’t upto my expectations. Material different, size not fitting, neck deep, too transparent………..Uhh. Now even websites love testing my patience.😤😤

“Clothes shopping”…… Something that stresses me out ……….. but almost 2/3rd of the world would recommend as a de-stressing technique. Am I too complicated? or life tries to complicate things for me?…….I really fail to understand.

I guess my struggle with clothes is never gonna end. But since clothing is one of the basic necessity of life according to Maslow’s theory of needs,  so I guess I’ll have to keep struggling. Anywhere I go there will be the same monotonous pattern being followed…..

On sight shopping would be…..

         Selected => Tried => Rejected

Online shopping would be ……

      Ordered => Delivered=> Returned

😭😭😭😭😭😭