Posted in life, Random thoughts

Observations> views>beliefs

There is this group of liquids that I have right from childhood associated with something evil. I don’t exactly know the genesis of this association, but till date it’s stuck in my mind. 

Over the years I have watched, I have observed, I have reasoned and I have concluded that although my views may be very conservative ……I have reasons to still hold to them.

It’s very simple ………..when you have a bad experience in life, everything related to it gets associated with the bad memory. 

I observed some of my own relatives (man and women) on a drunkard binge, feeling high and happy about their intoxicated state, while on the other side the concerned mother stood helpless and the wife cursed her fate and cried. The worst was the little kids, who watched it all ……learnt and understood the power of a drink. My relatives as humans were not bad  …….but it all started with one drink.

My mother narrated her experiences in the hospital attending to patients suffering from liver cirrhosis. Tied to the bed, in a state of withdrawal the patients would yearn for their drink and fire abuses to their helpless family. None of the patients would want to be in such a state………But it all started with one drink.

A father asking his preadolescent son to carry his glass of liquor ………that according to me is disrespecting the child. Parents love their children ………..but they can keep them aside for just one drink.

I was shocked to find a group of my own teenage students in a bar one day, smoking and drinking royally. I confronted them , thinking they would be ashamed…….They didn’t bat an eyelid. I didn’t notice a trace of shame anywhere on their being. Probably they learnt it all at home. Looking at them assured me that the doom of our society was near. They were no longer kids, they had grown into proud immatured adult ……….It must have all started with one drink.

It all starts with a drink…..

One sip…….

At a party, at a function, at home….at a bar, at college……. Wherever.

The drink has many sides to it. To many who earn their bread and butter from its sale, it is nothing less than a blessing. To some it is an integral part of their celebration life. But for many it spells a doom……a curse. And unfortunately for me I have seen more of the last side. My experiences have ended up shaping my views. And my views have shaped my beliefs. 

And my belief are here to stay. I hope that over the years things change, and people stop associating the drink with something bad.

Posted in Random thoughts

The freak accident

Yesterday as I jotted down the memories of our All India Lift Association (AILA) , the memories of another incident flashed back through my mind.

During the AILA days it so happened that one fine day no passerbys were ready to offer us 4 ladies a lift. After waiting for long, it began getting dark and we surely didn’t want to spend the night on the highway waiting for a lift (I am sure we would scare the hell out of people, who would mistaken us to be ghostsπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚)

So we gave up, but we were determined not to travel by the public transport buses. We checked out our next option…..the private inter state buses. 

One of the inter state bus named Seabird appeared and we stopped it and got in. It was an AC bus with comfortable push back seats ( something better than our local buses). The seats on either sides of the buses were raised up at a height, with a narrow passage between them. 

The 4 of us managed to find some empty seats for ourselves and we settled down. The entire trip upto margao was peaceful, comfortable and uneventful. 

Finally after an hour we reached Margao. As the bus approached the bus terminus, the 4 of us stood up to get ready to alight the bus. Since the middle passage was narrow we had to stand in a queue one after the other. The sequence was Nims was right infront, almost into the drivers cabin. ( The exit door was through the driver era cabin). Nims was followed by Namz followed Doms and finally me.

The climax: we were standing and patiently waiting for the bus to halt so that we could get down. But in the next moment disaster struck. All of a sudden somebody appeared infront of the bus and as a reflex the driver just pushed the brakes. The 4 of us, not expecting this sudden jerk were caught unaware…….And we fell ………Fell like a pack of cards. Jolta on Doms on Namz on Nims.

The entire public in the bus witnessed this downfall. Uhh what a shame 😱😱. But that was not the worst part. Since Nims was right in front she bore the brunt of the fall. The 3 of us falling one over the other, passed over our momentum to Nims, who then shot like a bullet and landed her forehead on the wind screen of the bus. 

Crackkkkkkkk………the fissures emerged instantaneously and spread out in all directions of the glass. It looked like a bullet had hit the glass.( The momentum of 4 ladies was not less than a bullet afterall). 

The  3 of us from behind immediately got up and were back on our feet, still embarrassed by our fall. But Nims was in shock, her forehead already swollen with the impact. The bus driver was in shock too. He apologized for what had happened. 

We got off the bus, Nims still in terrible pain. She contacted her parents. The 3 of us were concerned and we hoped that the injury was only superficial. We borrowed some ice from a local sugarcane juice vendor and tried to render some first aid to Nims. Finally her father reached and picked her up. The 3 of us were still in shock now. 

Doms complained of back pain for many days after the incident. Nims was not seen for almost a week. While me and Namz , I guess we were the least affected physically.

We had almost reached our destination, but within a fraction of a second things changed for the worst. That’s how life is, you can least expect what’s gonna happen next. Years have passed since that incident, and I have been involved in many other freak accidents. There is no guarantee for life.

Everytime we step out of home ,we should be praying to God for our safety and the safety of others. Things can change in a moment , we need to always be prepared.

Everytime I notice a seabird bus I still remember that day and that freak accident.

Posted in life, Random thoughts

Jezu Borea Gonvllea

Mogall bhava- boinnino, wordpressacher ho mhozo poilo Konkani post. Somzota tumkam avodtollo 😁.

Devacho sor ami zaitia toren kortat…..Dekik, ek bapui, ek xikxok, ek ixxt ani adi. Mhaka hantuntlo avoddta toh sor zaun asa eke Gonvlleacho. Ek gonvlli zo aple mendriank apurbaen pallta. Heach nodren mhozo ho avodtto git. Tumi igorjent aikolla, astolloch.

Jezu Borea Gonvllea

Jezu Borea Gonvllea, Jezu svadik bolea,

Sorgim than tu denvloi, sodunk mhaka ailloi

Polle hanv ti xelli, tuka chukon gelli

Tujem thΓ’i vorr mhaka, pois vochunk sodd nhaka

Jezu svadik moga, sanddlo hanven tuka

Iemkodda vatt dhorli, pisai vhodd adarli,

Pattim mhaka apoi, ghaiant mhaka lipoi,

Nhannoun Povitr Rogtant, dovvor  sodanch kallzant!

English translate

I love to look at God as a shepherd tending unto his sheep. I being one from the herd. There is this hymn in my mother tongue konkani which I love to listen. I am just attempting to translate 2 paras of this hymn. Go ahead and listen 😁

Jesus the good Shepherd

Jesus the good Shepherd, Jesus the sweetest sacrifice

You descended from heaven, to liberate me

Here I am the lamp, who missed your path

Find me and never let me go

I have lost you , oh Jesus thy sweetest love

I walked on the path to hell, what a great madness I did

I have lost my way, call out to me

Hide me in your precious wounds

Bathe me in thy Holy Blood, keep me forever in thy heart.

Jezu Borea Govlea – Rosarians

Someday when I return to the Earth, I would want these words on my grave……….Jolta and her Lord…..A sheep and her Shepherd. πŸ˜‡

Posted in blogging, life, Random thoughts

Stalking the teacher πŸ˜Ž

Being a teacher has its own set of advantages and disadvantages. 

One of the biggest disadvantage of being a teacher that I have experienced is the loss of privacy. Let’s say a teacher teaches 3 classes of around 40 students each and the teacher has been teaching for about 5 years. Then a simple math would mean the teacher has taught about 600 students. Add another 400 students to this list, who might not have been taught by the teacher but have studied in the same institute. That makes it almost a 1000 students who know the teacher.

Now in a small state like ours , whose entire length can be traversed in a mere 4 hrs drive, the probability of bumping into 1 of the 1000 students you’ve taught is very very high.

I go to the market ………..I bump into at least one of my student in the crowd.

I go to the beach ………I see a few of them from far and I end up changing my walking route 😭.

I go for a drive to a far of remote place, stop on a bridge happily clicking my selfie……….suddenly a voice comes from behind ” Hi miss!” 😡

I go for mass and I am fully concentrating on my prayer…………The next day at college “miss I saw you for mass yesterday” πŸ˜‡.

I go for a movie and in the dark I’m hoping I don’t see any of them……..But during the intermission when the lights come on, my hopes are shattered. There they are πŸ˜€

I go to buy fish ………..”Hi miss”

I’m at the pharmacy………” Hello miss”

I rarely attend social gatherings, but if I do ………… There’ll still be that one student I bump into.

It’s like you’re literally being stalked .

Over the years the number of students in my village have increased. Now even my neighbor happens to be my student πŸ˜•.

The moment I see a student I get conscious and I am forced to switch personalities from an immatured carefree girl to a matured serious female.
The funniest part of this stalking drama is the different reactions I notice of the students.

There are some that get so excited to see me………They would literally make you feel like a celebrity.

Some students will just show you an attitude…….” To hell with that teacher”.

Then there are those who feel that I am stalking them. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. They’d be like “why is she here? ” 😀

I don’t know how long i would be in the teaching profession. But if I carry on further , my stalkers would only increase. 

A day might come where every 2nd person I meet would be my student and I’ll have to forever but on my serious charecter look.

Anyways until then….. this “hide n seek” between student and teacher is going to continue πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

Posted in life, Random thoughts, social issue

HypocrisyΒ 

” I live in a hypocritical world.”

Many years back I happened to be traveling home by bus. I had to stand next to a family. The mother of the family ate a banana, and as most Indians do, she just flung the peel out of the window. Her young daughter at once objected to the act. The mother laughed, to which the little girl began explaining to her how anybody could have slipped over the peel and could have got injured. 

The mother seemed to be unpurturbed. But the entire event must have caused a big turmoil in the mind of the child.

Which truth was she to believe? The manners taught to her by maybe her teacher at school or the contradictory irresponsible behavior demonstrated by her mother?

We all are raised up with certain norms set by society and the religion we follow.The norms are taught to us within the 4 walls of our homes, religious places or our schools. 

But as we grow up and we venture out of the 4 walls , many a times we encounter a shocking realisation.

We realise that the norms taught to us as ultimate truths, are rarely followed in reality.

That’s when the doubt sets in like the child ……Is there any substance in the norms taught to us all these years? 

Is everything an illusion?

Is it all about living with double standards?

I live in a Hypocritical world 

And I know I am equally hypocritical

But……I am still in doubt……….
……………to be continued

Posted in blogging, leisure, life, Random thoughts

Fit un Fit

I hate shopping for clothes. Hate , hate from the bottom of my heart. Why???…….. Because I never get what I want, I never get something I would be comfortable in.

Take for example a kurta.

If I like the color …..the size doesn’t fit.

If I get a proper size…..the material is not nice

If I like the  sleeves ……the neck is deep

If everything is fine……the rate is too high

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I have lost track of the number of times me and my mother have locked horns over petty issues like selecting a kurta.

So much so that my mother finally stopped taking me along for shopping. She picked up whatever she liked……If I liked it well and good, if not she would just pass it on.

But there are times when I  feel blessed to get that perfect piece …….which just satisfies all the conditions set by me. It’s as tough they were stitched keeping me in mind. I am not talking about tailored clothes here. Tailors are another pain I would avoid as long as I can.

These perfect clothes are then used used and overused by me ……almost like a uniform. And if it’s a good quality clothing then the uniform won’t change for years 😁.

Of late I almost found a solution to my problem…… Online shopping. 

When I started off, I seemed to love online shopping……Simply because it saved my time, it saved my money at times(end of season sales) and more importantly it saved my patience (something I lack). I used to some how get stuff upto my satisfaction.

But my happiness was short lived. Off late most of the things I order aren’t upto my expectations. Material different, size not fitting, neck deep, too transparent………..Uhh. Now even websites love testing my patience.😀😀

“Clothes shopping”…… Something that stresses me out ……….. but almost 2/3rd of the world would recommend as a de-stressing technique. Am I too complicated? or life tries to complicate things for me?…….I really fail to understand.

I guess my struggle with clothes is never gonna end. But since clothing is one of the basic necessity of life according to Maslow’s theory of needs,  so I guess I’ll have to keep struggling. Anywhere I go there will be the same monotonous pattern being followed…..

On sight shopping would be…..

         Selected => Tried => Rejected

Online shopping would be ……

      Ordered => Delivered=> Returned

😭😭😭😭😭😭